It's amazing how one experience can send you crashing back down to reality. I've been living my life lately, not thinking about how I was living, just going through the same basic routines over and over. I kept wishing something new would happen. It did, but it wasn't good new. I know better than to offer sympathy, because it never makes me feel any better, but I do want to take a moment to acknowledge the impact Mark Sheppard had on my life.
I never thought of him as a mentor, or an inspirational figure, but I realize now that I should have had more respect for him than anyone. He was truly devoted to his passion, and I realize now that I truly did enjoy Drama because of him. In the same way Mr. Brandon's "Brandonisms" are used all over the school, Mr. Sheppard was a fully integrated part of our community, and although I thought of him only as a teacher, I realize too late that he did have an impact on my life. He inspired me to continue taking Drama, and to specialize in it. He encouraged me to let go of the numerous inhibitions I had made part of myself when I was acting, allowing me to do any number of things.
I never imagined that it would affect me the way it did, but I spent most of today in tears, the rest of it on the verge of breaking down. I realized that although I might get used to having Carys teach our class, some part of me would always remember Mr. Sheppard. I owe him for all the play reports that I didn't send in on time, not bothering to think of whether he had other things to be doing than reading them. And I also owe him a lot of respect, which I wish I had showed more often. I truly hold him in the highest regard for what he has done.
rapunzel.in.black
