No, not racism. Hatred.
A quote:
Ingrid: "I realized that I actually hate a lot of my friends."
Me too, Ingrid, me too. Why is this? Maybe I'm too nice of a person. Maybe if I was meaner, people would get the hint that I really don't like them/talking to them, and they would leave me alone, leaving me to wallow with those few people I do like.
Warning: The rest of this post is confusing, because I keep mixing up my tenses and pronouns and am too tired and lazy to fix it or write properly.
In my mind, there are two categories of hate for friends/people.
1. You hate them always.
This is the kind of hatred that is self explanatory. You cannot stand this person. You hate being around them at any time. They insist on following you around. You wish they would leave you alone. They can NEVER take a hint. You really hate this person.
2. You hate them sometimes.
This kind of hatred is more subtle, and difficult to deal with. There are certain people in my life whom I hate at seemingly random intervals. These intervals are not random, if you happen to be one of the people on the receiving end of this hatred, and have noticed it. This is the person that is sometimes amusing and fun to be around, but more often than not, they are more annoying than amusing. This is unfortunate. Why can't this person just be better? Then you feel bad about hating them, because really, they just remind you of yourself.
Those are the two main categories. There is a third, somewhat related category, and it is called jealousy.
3. Jealousy
This is not truly hatred, but sometimes you really wish you were this person, so painfully that you end up disliking their presence somewhat, because they remind you of how much you suck. Then they do something majorly awesome, making you want to be around them all the time. Then you are worried about whether you are annoying or not, and in the process end up being even more annoying. This person probably hates you. You are probably the second type of hated person on their list. Maybe even the first (if you're lucky!).
When reading this post, you may have been thinking, whose blog is this? Am I in the wrong place? No, dear reader, you are not in the wrong place. I am simply revealing that in reality, I am in fact not a nice person at all. On the contrary, I can be quite a vile and repulsive person if I put my head to it. Why have I revealed this? Do I want you to hate me too? No, I just want validation that I am not the only person who hates people, and more validation that people read this blog. Maybe. Sometimes.
