In response to much uproar over my New Year's blogolution, I have decided to not stop making random posts. I knew this was going to happen even before I wrote up that blogolution, so I shouldn't have even said anything. Oh well, I guess I need some small form of entertainment. Or some sign that people still love me. And that's just how sad I am. So, in celebration of not keeping resolutions, here is a post as random as random can be.
A review of mankind:
People write reviews for movies, and for albums, and songs, and art, and everything. So why shouldn't there be a review for people? So, I was going to take this opportunity to bitch about everyone I know, albeit anonymously. But then I decided that that would be far too offensive to be coming from my mouth. Or...hands. So instead, I'll just bitch about how humanity is going absolutely nowhere.
If you still consider this offensive, I will make you feel a little better by putting this in a format so you can pretend that it isn't about humanity at all. Pretend it is a review for that new album from your favorite band, whatever it may be.
1. Womankind
This song has one of the worst openings I have ever heard, and the vocals were incredibly whiny. The lyrics would have been okay, but it seems that the band took every opportunity possible to put in some backstabbing comment about anyone and everyone they could. The melancholiness of the interludes in the song can be related to PMS, which is a good comparison, because I dislike this song almost as much as I dislike PMS.
2. The Mans
Good instrumentals, and good vocals. However, this was taken away from by the fact that the song dragged out for about 8 minutes, and there was absolutely no substance. It meant...nothing! I also could have done without the repeated swearing, which there was far too much of. But overall, a better song than the first one, although it could have done with some more emotion, and sensitivity.
3. Teenagers (yes, I am aware that there is actually a song called Teenagers. I love that song, but for the purpose of this list, ignore the fact that the song exists.)
Generally, music has to have....music. But I was disappointed to find that this song had virtually no instrumentals, and rap just doesn't cut it when I listen to music. This song lacked any thinking whatsoever, and this drove me crazy. The only part of it that I actually enjoyed was the guitar solo in the middle of it, which was overshadowed by the fact that the guitarist didn't actually know how to play guitar.
For anyone who doesn't understand the above comparison: The teenage pop culture today is a stupid, hip-hoppy generation that lacks the ability to use the brain. There is the occasional awesome person you meet, but it is overshadowed by the millions of wannabes.
4. Babies
A song with a cutsie, happy opening. However, the entire middle of it was so irritating that I hardly noticed the quiet, peaceful, ending. A day in the life, I suppose...
5. OLD
As far as classical music goes, it wasn't all that bad. But, there was a tone of desperation in the music, and the song seemed like it would never end. All in all, it was a pretty useless number in this album, since it didn't really add much.
And thus concludes my review of humanity. I guess a lot of it was offensive to many people, but I find myself caring oh-so-little. Just consider it the bluntest of ways to put anything, and everyone's happy. Maybe.
Now, just to make something clear, I have nothing against old people. I just felt like dissing on everyone today.
And so, good day to you all. I'm going to go see a stupid and pointless play!
